Terms 0f Surrender (Dynasties: The Danforths Book 11) Page 5

  Confused, David stared at her. His gaze found hers, his eyes dark and glowering. He had every reason to be angry, she thought. But she couldn’t deal with his emotions now. She had enough on her hands dealing with her own.

  “Tanya—”

  “Now. Please!”

  Without another word, David rolled off her and stood. He reached out to help her up, but Tanya scooted off the bed under her own power. She couldn’t bring herself to look at him.

  What must he think of her?

  Swallowing hard, she bit back a sob. “Please go.” Barely able to get the words out, she turned away from him.

  “Tanya—”

  “Please. Just leave me alone.” Squeezing her eyes shut, she wrapped her arms around herself and lowered her head.

  David didn’t say anything more. A moment later, she heard her door open, then close. Silence engulfed her, leaving her feeling even more alone than she’d been before David had come to her. It wasn’t until then that she realized she’d been holding her breath.

  Oh, God, what had she almost done?

  Four

  Alone, Tanya changed into her nightgown, then practically fell into bed. Despite the exhaustion that made lifting her hand feel as if there was a fifty-pound weight attached to it, she didn’t feel at all drowsy. Quite the opposite. Her mind raced with what had just transpired.

  For the second time in her life, she’d thrown herself at David. If it wouldn’t require so much effort, she’d smack herself in the head. How could she ever explain her actions to him?

  You were distraught. It felt good to be held, and he had just been offering you comfort.

  Yes, but what had begun as a consoling gesture had spiraled into something much more intimate. Had she been in her right mind, she would never have let him kiss her.

  And she definitely wouldn’t have kissed him back.

  You’re lying. You wanted to kiss him.

  Her heart stirred as her mind whispered the truth. She really had. She’d wanted so much more than a kiss.

  She’d wanted to make love with him. She still did. A heavy sigh escaped her lips. And if she made love with David, what then? He had a life in Atlanta. He’d made it clear that he was only here because he was adhering to the terms of Edward’s will. After the year was up, he would leave Cottonwood.

  Leave her.

  Could she handle his leaving again? Especially now, knowing that her heart was at risk? Getting involved with David would be a grave mistake. Emotional suicide.

  He’d hurt her once. Well, yes, she’d been seventeen, young and naïve. But it had still hurt when he’d kissed her as if he truly wanted her, then turned and walked away without an excuse or an apology, dropping out of her life for five long years.

  Five years that she’d spent hoping with all her heart that he would return. And she’d let that silly schoolgirl crush ruin her chances of establishing any kind of relationship with a man. God, she hadn’t dated another man more than once or twice, couldn’t even remember the last time.

  At some point, she’d begun passing up opportunities to see other men. She’d refused an offer to go out with Jack Dawson, a banker from the nearby town of Cotton Creek, only last month. She just hadn’t been interested. Her life had been busy enough trying to take care of the plantation and Edward. She hadn’t had the time or the inclination for anything else.

  But the real reason was that Jack wasn’t David.

  She curled her hands into fists. Why couldn’t she stop thinking about him? Wanting to be with him? The man was infuriating. Not to mention that he didn’t even trust her. From the moment he’d arrived, he’d been obnoxious and insulting. Accusing her of an array of wrongdoings. Then, with the cold thoroughness of a businessman, he had busied himself thinking of ways to get rid of her!

  Turning on her side, Tanya stared out the window at the moonlit shadows of the magnolia tree outside her bedroom. Face it, she told herself, you’re already half in love with him. You’ve harbored feelings for him for five long years on a single kiss. Lived with the dream that David would come home and make peace with his father, then confess he held feelings for you.

  After the way David had kissed her, she suspected that he was attracted to her. She sighed heavily. He probably wasn’t any happier about that than she was.

  So, what should she do? Continue pulling away? Deny herself an intimate relationship with him?

  Rolling over to lie on her back, Tanya gazed absently at the ceiling. Okay, damage control. Though not sure of what to do about her feelings for David, she knew that more than likely she would see him in the morning.

  First things, first. She’d face David and apologize for her behavior. That would be simple enough to do, right?

  She could get through seeing him at breakfast in the morning. She’d tell him that it had been a mistake, that she’d been distraught. Then all she had to do was get through the rest of the day. The next day she’d be leaving to attend a meeting in Washington, D.C. Though she dreaded it, she’d planned the trip months ago, promising Edward that she’d go. It had been hard to do, because she rarely left Cottonwood.

  Now she was relieved that she was going. She needed to put some space between her and David, give herself some time to think about her feelings. By the time she returned, what had happened between them would be over and forgotten.

  Forgotten?

  Really?

  Agitated, Tanya turned and slammed her fist into her pillow. Would she ever be able to forget how it felt to have David’s arms around her? How it felt to kiss him? To have him touch her so intimately?

  Closing her eyes, she tried to block the image of his hand on her body, his mouth on her breast. Instead, she felt an ache deep inside her, a desire so strong that she moaned softly and buried her face in her pillow.

  A scream pierced the silence of her room and Tanya bolted upright. Her heart pounded as her gaze swept her surroundings. She was alone in her bed, in her room.

  The scream had come from her.

  Struggling to breathe, she covered her face with her hands. Drenched in sweat, her nightgown stuck to her, chilling her skin.

  Another dream! But in a flash, the images were gone. Just like that. She put her hands against her temples and rocked back and forth in her bed.

  Oh, God, what was happening to her? Why was she having these tormenting dreams? And why were they coming more often? The first one had come several months ago and, despite the disturbing feeling it had left her with, she had attributed it to the stress she’d been under. But shortly after, she’d had another, more intense than the first. Now they were coming every few days, each one leaving her feeling more shaken and confused. What did they mean? And why couldn’t she remember anything about them when she woke up?

  Then suddenly, as if she’d willed it, the face from her dream flashed with blinding speed through her mind. Her body tensed as the image came into focus, then disappeared. A girl! A teenager, she thought, with Kool-Aid-red hair and a silver ring through her eyebrow.

  Who was she? It was the same face that had been in every dream. How Tanya knew that, she wasn’t sure. Closing her eyes, she tried to focus on what she could remember of the image of the girl. Had she known her years ago, before she’d lost her memory? Was she a sister? A friend?

  Tanya tried to concentrate on the dream, struggled to remember more of it, but despite her attempts, she couldn’t. Opening her eyes, she took a deep breath and climbed out of bed. Her legs trembled, whether because of the dream or because she’d be seeing David shortly, she didn’t know. But since facing him this morning would require her full concentration, she tried to force the dream to the back of her mind.

  Running her hands through her hair, Tanya made her way to the bathroom. Catching a glimpse of herself in the mirror, she gasped. Her eyes were swollen and red, her hair a wild mess. Groaning, she twisted the knob for the water, adjusted the temperature to something just short of hot, then stepped into the shower. The steamy spray chased th
e chill of the November morning from her skin, but did nothing to erase the vivid face of the young girl in her dream from her mind.

  After a long shower, Tanya blew her hair dry, then, because it was Sunday and she wouldn’t be working outside of the house, decided to leave it down for the day. By the time she’d added a touch of blush to her cheeks and dressed, she felt a little more decent.

  Presentable enough to face even David, she mentally convinced herself. Glancing at her watch, she frowned. More time had passed than she’d realized. She hurried to the stairs, noticing that his door down the hall was closed. Great! She had time to get to the dining room first. She wanted the advantage of being seated when he came in.

  To her dismay, as she entered the dining room, David was already seated at the table, a newspaper in his hand. She’d assumed his closed door meant he was still inside his room. She wouldn’t make the same mistake again.

  Starting forward, she felt his gaze on her and damned the misstep in her stride as she walked around the table. In an effort to appear unaffected by his presence, and because she would have looked ridiculous if she hadn’t, she took the seat nearest him.

  “Good morning.” She glanced at him as she scooted her chair closer to the table. His male scent drifted to her. Freshly shaven, his hair was combed neatly, the ends of it still a little damp, making her wonder if he’d just recently showered as well. Like a traitor to her emotions, a vision of what he would look like standing naked in the shower stole into her thoughts.

  She swallowed hard. With a great deal of effort, she banished the vision to the back of her mind and gave him a sidelong look. His shirt was an expensive brand, a soft gray pullover, and he’d left the three buttons at the base of his neck unbuttoned, exposing a little patch of his chest hair. Though tempted to continue her appraisal, she averted her gaze.

  “Morning, Tanya,” David answered, folding the paper in half and laying it aside. He looked at Tanya and his heartbeat quickened. He’d never had a woman affect him just by the sight of her. Not even Melanie. For years he’d suppressed his attraction to Tanya, choosing to live in Atlanta, thinking that if she wasn’t available to him, he’d forget her.

  But the memory of her kiss had taunted him. The instant he’d seen her, he’d known that he’d only succeeded in temporarily burying his attraction to her. And over the past several days, he was finding it harder and harder to resist the urge to touch her.

  After last night, after tasting her again, he was fooling himself if he really thought he could keep his distance. This morning, dressed casually in jeans and a teal sweater, she looked amazing. She’d left her hair free, and the blond strands curtained her face, shielding her expression from his view. All morning, he’d been waiting for this moment, waiting for her. Rising before dawn, he’d hoped to see her at breakfast, determined to catch her in case she snuck out to avoid him.

  There was a lot of unfinished business between them. He’d treated her badly since he’d arrived. She should hate him for what he’d said to her the day his father died. Maybe she did. Maybe that’s why she’d called a halt to their lovemaking last night.

  David couldn’t blame her. He ran his hand over the edge of the paper as he looked over at Tanya. She had no way of knowing that he’d figured out that most of his problems and attitudes since returning to Cottonwood had to do with his feelings for his father. Cottonwood was his. He wanted it. He’d never really wanted to leave, but had wanted to salvage some kind of relationship with his father. He couldn’t have done that if he’d stayed. Now his life was in Atlanta, not here. And because he’d been so angry at his father, he’d taken his frustration out on Tanya. She hadn’t deserved that.

  After kissing her last night, nearly making love to her, his attraction was becoming harder to control. He hadn’t gotten an ounce of sleep just thinking about all the places he wanted to touch her. What was it about her that was driving him crazy? He could still taste her. But what might happen between them remained to be seen. Right now he had to set things straight between them.

  “Look, I—”

  “I wanted to—”

  Suddenly, they both stopped talking and stared silently at each other. Tanya hesitated, and David seized the opportunity to speak. “If you don’t mind,” he said, his expression grim, “I’d like to go first.”

  “All right.” Tanya didn’t say anything more. She couldn’t. Holding her breath, she braced herself. From his dark expression, she could tell he was upset.

  “I’ve been waiting for you all morning.” He hesitated a moment, tried to gauge what she was thinking from her look of surprise, then took a deep breath. “I owe you an apology, Tanya. Although there probably aren’t enough words to excuse my behavior since I arrived.”

  Her eyes widened. “What?”

  “Despite what you may think, Cottonwood means a lot to me. It’s been in my family for years. I thought I was going to lose it. And I was resentful that my father put such a ridiculous stipulation in his will.” And resentful that she’d shared such a close relationship with him. When she didn’t speak, he went on, “It’s just that—” He hesitated, struggling for the right words, then continued, “I was so angry at him. I shouldn’t have taken it out on you.”

  “Oh.” Tanya wasn’t sure she believed him. Did Cottonwood really mean that much to David? Or did he just not want her to have it?

  Despite his apology, she knew one thing was true. David hadn’t changed his mind about her being there. Suddenly feeling disconnected, she fought back a fresh wave of tears. Regardless of the kiss they’d shared, regardless of her feelings for him, nothing had really changed between them.

  Except now she knew he desired her. She wasn’t sure what to think. Maybe she should give up and leave Cottonwood. But if she did, where would she go? She thought of Edward and how much she’d loved him. Because of him, she had a home and a job. David might not like it, but his father had declared it in his will.

  David cleared his throat, breaking into her thoughts. She looked up and found him watching her, his gaze intense.

  “There’s something else that I want to say. I should have said this a long time ago, but—thank you for taking care of my father.”

  Despite her attempt not to cry, Tanya’s eyes watered. “You’re welcome.” They just looked at each other, caught, it seemed, in a moment. Then Tanya glanced away. Wringing her hands in her lap, she gathered the courage to look at him again. “And while we’re on the subject of apologies, I owe you one, as well.” She hesitated, biting her lip, her chest aching as the tension inside her built.

  David’s eyebrows dipped. “I can’t imagine why.”

  “Um, last night, well, what happened…I want you to know I’m sorry. I was very upset, and I let things between us get carried away.”

  “Let me see if I understand this. You’re apologizing for almost making love with me?” His tone was guarded.

  Tanya’s gaze flashed to the door with worry, then back to him. “No. Yes. I mean, I know what you must have thought. And could you please keep your voice down? Ruth is liable to walk through that door at any moment.”

  As if on cue, the door opened and the cook appeared. “I thought I heard voices in here.” She placed a platter of eggs and bacon on the table, along with a plate of biscuits. Then she turned to the large oak buffet behind her and retrieved plates and silverware. “Morning, David,” she said, giving them each a place setting. “And Tanya, it’s good to see you. I trust you’re feeling better today?”

  After David greeted the cook, Tanya said, “I am. Thank you. And I’m starving. This smells wonderful.” She wasn’t lying. The aroma of the hot food filled the air, and her stomach growled. She took a biscuit, then passed them to David.

  The older woman smiled at the compliment. “Good. Well, eat up. There’s plenty. I’ll be right back with coffee.”

  She disappeared, but quickly returned with a steaming carafe of coffee and poured them each a cup. “Ruth,” Tanya called as the cook sta
rted to leave.

  Ruth paused by the door. “Yes?”

  “I just wanted to remind you that I won’t be here tomorrow.”

  “Oh, that’s right. I believe I have it on my calendar in the kitchen, but thank you for reminding me.”

  As she left, Tanya busied her hands by buttering a biscuit. When she finished, she looked up to find David watching her, his expression curious. She chewed, then swallowed. “Oh, I’m sorry, where were we?”

  “I believe you were telling me you knew what I was thinking after I kissed you last night,” he prompted, knowing that she really had no idea of the depth of what had transpired between them. They’d crossed a line. He’d wanted to make love to her. Not once, but over and over again until he no longer had a breath in him.

  Avoiding his gaze, Tanya picked up the platter of eggs and bacon and added a small helping to her plate. “What I mean is, I shouldn’t have let you kiss me,” she began, flicking a glance at him, then concentrating on what she was doing. “I was feeling so sad about losing your father, and I—”

  “You didn’t like kissing me,” David stated flatly, taking the platter from her and adding a heaping amount of the food to his own plate.

  She dropped her fork. Fumbling, she picked it up again. “You’re not helping one bit.” Frustrated, Tanya glared at him.

  He raised his eyebrows. “Sorry. Why don’t you talk while I eat?” he suggested, barely able to wait to hear her logic.

  “I know you must think I’m terrible. There I was, grieving for your father, and in the next moment, we were practically…well, you know. I don’t know what happened. It just felt good to have someone hold me and listen to me.”

  Suddenly losing his appetite, David stopped eating. “So you’re saying that because you were upset, you needed someone to lean on. And I just happened to be there?”

  She flushed, relieved that he hadn’t alluded to how close they’d come to making love. “Well, yes. I didn’t mean to lead you on.”