Terms 0f Surrender (Dynasties: The Danforths Book 11) Page 4

  If you’d tried harder to get along with him, you wouldn’t be fighting for Cottonwood now. It would be yours. Without strings.

  David shook his head. It would have been easier to let Cottonwood go. But he couldn’t. There were memories of his mother here, memories of the only happy time in his life.

  At the soft creak of the door, he looked up. Expecting to see Tanya enter, he braced himself for the pull of awareness that was becoming so familiar when she was near. When Ruth, his father’s cook over the many years, entered, he took a much-needed breath.

  Her lean frame contradicted the many pastries, breads and other tantalizing foods she baked. Though the bun behind her head was nearly gray, and despite a wrinkle or two around her narrow lips and soft gray eyes, she’d changed very little. A hint of a smile touched her lips when his gaze met hers.

  “Ah, David, I thought I heard you come in.” As she neared the table, she placed a generous meal of baked chicken, red potatoes and steamed mixed vegetables in front of him.

  David lifted his brow in question. “Tanya’s not having dinner?”

  The older woman shook her head. “She called from her room to say that she wouldn’t be down to eat.”

  He frowned. When she’d left him earlier, she’d been shaking and upset. He hadn’t seen her since. “Is she all right?”

  “Is there a reason she shouldn’t be?” Ruth countered.

  David blinked. “Not that I know of.” He changed the subject, determined to put Tanya out of his mind—if only through dinner. “This smells delicious,” he commented, breathing in the aroma of parsley, butter and a hint of garlic.

  “I hope you enjoy it. I remember how much you used to like these potatoes.” She paused and leaned against the large oak buffet.

  He grinned. “I still do.”

  Ruth responded with a reproving look. “Maybe you should have come home once in a while. I would have cooked anything you wanted.”

  Caught off-guard by her words, David felt appropriately chastised. His face flushed as he met her gaze. She was right, of course. He could have returned once in a while, made an effort to get along with his father. But it had been easier to stay away and not subject himself to further confrontations and disappointment.

  And he’d needed to stay away from Tanya.

  If you’d come home, you might never have been able to walk away from her.

  And he knew he couldn’t have stayed. He swallowed past the knot in his chest. “I know. But my father never cared if I came home or not. The times I called, our conversations always ended in arguments.” His father had been one reason he’d stayed away. His attraction to Tanya had been another. But he wasn’t going to admit as much to Ruth.

  Grunting, the cook glared at him. “That’s because you’re every bit as stubborn as Edward was. Neither of you was willing to give an inch.” With a hand on her hip, she stared him straight in the eyes. “So, you gonna stay this time?”

  He shrugged one shoulder. “I have no choice.”

  “And Tanya?” she asked, concern etched in her expression.

  “She’ll continue to run the plantation.”

  Ruth’s features relaxed. “Good.” She started from the room, then stopped near the door. Turning back, she leveled her gaze on him. “You know, everyone here is very fond of Tanya. She came here as a frightened young girl, and I can only imagine how terrible it must be for her not to remember a thing about her past. Despite the accident that caused her loss of memory, it wasn’t long before she was running this place right along with Edward. She earned her position right along with your father’s respect.”

  Her voice was filled with admiration when she continued, “But this last year was especially hard on her. Besides handling the operation of the farm, after your father’s cancer was diagnosed, she took him to every doctor’s appointment. As his condition worsened, she didn’t miss a night sitting with him in his room, catering to his every need. He adored her.”

  David lifted the pitcher of iced tea on the table and filled his glass, his relaxed manner giving no clue of his clinching stomach. “I know.”

  Ruth’s eyes narrowed slightly. “Do you, David?” She looked as if she wasn’t sure whether to believe him. “Tanya is special. I can’t say how I know that, I just do. Your father told me he saw something in her, too. That’s why he took her in. He saw her potential, wanted to foster it.”

  “From what I can tell, he did a great job,” he stated, his stomach tightening another notch. His father had seen Tanya’s potential, but not his own son’s. David tamped down on the disappointment that churned through him. Despite his feelings of bitterness for his father, he owed Tanya an apology.

  “None of us would like to see that young woman hurt anymore,” Ruth said. “God knows she’s been through enough.”

  “I don’t want to hurt her.”

  She gave him a pointed look. “Maybe not, but I remember the way she idolized you.”

  “That was a long time ago. She was just a kid.”

  Ruth was quiet a moment, then her eyes softened. “Time doesn’t change everything.”

  As the older woman left the room, David began eating. Her last comment played over and over in his mind. She was wrong, he told himself. She had to be wrong. Because if she wasn’t, not getting involved with Tanya was going to be harder than he thought. Almost impossible. Hell, every time they were together he wanted to touch her.

  He shoved his empty plate away and drained his glass. What was the real reason Tanya hadn’t come down to eat? If she hadn’t been hungry, she was probably okay. But what if she wasn’t? What if she was ill?

  Deciding to check on her, he got up and headed for the stairs that led to the bedrooms on the third story of the house.

  The staff quarters were at the back of the house on the bottom floor. The second story had been set aside for guests, and the top floor housed family members. At the top of the stairs, he walked down the hall opposite the direction of his own room and stopped in front of Tanya’s bedroom.

  “Tanya?” Tapping lightly, he waited for her to answer. When she didn’t, he reached for the doorknob, then hesitated.

  Should he go in? Maybe not. It was possible that she was sleeping, wasn’t it? If so, and he knocked again, he’d awaken her.

  But what if she was sick? He thought of all those months she spent taking care of his father. If she wasn’t feeling well and needed help, she deserved to have someone looking after her.

  He wanted to be that someone, but he knew the smartest thing to do would be to walk away. Still, the thought of her being alone and ill made him rap his knuckles against the door.

  Startled by the knock on her bedroom door, Tanya’s breath caught in her lungs. She’d left instructions not to be disturbed. Who was it?

  David?

  Oh, God, she couldn’t bear for him to see her like this. If the man knew she wasn’t strong enough to handle her grief, he might think she wasn’t capable of running the plantation. Then they’d have that argument all over again.

  Trying to remain quiet, she buried her face in her pillow to smother the sound of her sobs. Why couldn’t she stop weeping? She’d been in her room for hours, her sorrow so overwhelming that she’d cried herself to sleep. When she awoke a little earlier, tears had flooded her eyes yet again. Her heart ached so badly that she felt as if she were coming apart inside. She was so tired of being strong.

  When the handle jiggled and the door slowly opened, she knew David was in her room. Hoping he’d leave, she held her breath and tried to remain stone-still. She heard the door close, then his footsteps coming nearer. Her heart began to hammer in her chest. Despite her desire to remain quiet, her sob broke the silence in the room.

  “Tanya?” David called as he moved closer. Entering Tanya’s bedroom had been an invasion of her privacy, but he hadn’t been able to stop himself. He wanted to be sure she was okay. Then he would leave.

  Turning, he spotted her on the bed. Lying on her side, facing
away from him, she was curled into a tight ball, sobbing into her pillow. Stunned, he stared at her, only now beginning to realize the magnitude of her grief.

  His stomach knotted as he approached her. Not sure of what to say to ease her sorrow, he sat on the edge of the bed, then gently laid a hand on her shoulder.

  “Go away!” Mortified, Tanya shrank from his touch. Even as she did, she was aware of how much she wished he’d put his arms around her. Oh, God, she needed so much to be held, to be comforted and assured that this horrible pain would go away.

  “C’mon, Tanya,” David coaxed, understanding why he’d be the last person she’d open up to. He silently cursed himself. After what he’d accused her of, she had a right to be upset with him. She probably hated him. And rightly so. That he’d caused her worry while she was feeling such heartache shamed him.

  Tanya didn’t move. “What are you doing here?” she asked, her voice muffled.

  “I knocked, but I guess you didn’t hear me.”

  “Yes, I did.”

  David smiled at the petulance in her voice. She didn’t want him there. Well, that was tough. Obviously, she was hurting and needed someone. Though he hadn’t been around for his father, maybe he could make up for the way he’d been treating her by being there for her. He owed her that, and more.

  He sat on the edge of the bed, both disturbed and surprised that he wanted to be there for her. When he touched her shoulder again, she stiffened, but he didn’t remove his hand. “Look, I just want you to talk to me.”

  Tanya sighed as the warmth of his hand seeped into her. Frowning, she thought about how horrible she must look. She sniffed again, then grabbed a few tissues from the box beside her bed and blew her nose. “I’m fine,” she lied, tears in her throat. She couldn’t bare her soul to David. He hadn’t had a loving relationship with his father like she’d had. He’d never understand what she was going through. She fought the urge to tell him how much she ached inside, how much she missed Edward.

  How much she wanted, needed someone to lean on.

  “Obviously, you aren’t.”

  Rolling toward him, Tanya looked everywhere but at his face. “You can’t help me,” she whispered, wishing he’d leave and wanting him to stay at the same time.

  David studied her disheveled appearance and felt something inside him shift. Despite her tousled hair, her puffy eyes and tear-streaked face, she was beautiful. Realizing he was playing with fire, he gently caressed her shoulder, then felt a fist squeeze his heart when another tear fell. “C’mon, Tanya. Maybe I can.” Though he’d never been good at relationships, he felt an overwhelming need to comfort her. “I know you’re hurting. I’ll admit that I don’t feel the same depth of emotion for my father, but despite what you think, I’m not made of stone.”

  She glanced at him, then sighed deeply. Somehow, she found the energy to get up and sit beside him. Her expression softened when their gazes met, and she saw shadows of deep anguish in his eyes. “I don’t think that.”

  She had wondered. He hadn’t even talked about losing his father. Why? Maybe sharing her feelings for Edward could help David heal his own pain.

  “I miss him,” she whispered, and just being able to say those three words made everything she’d been through since Edward’s death come rushing back. She closed her eyes against the pain.

  “I know you do.” He suddenly felt helpless and wished there was something he could do or say to ease her anguish. Though he wanted to pull her into his arms, he resisted the urge, sure she would reject his offer of comfort. His father had never shown him love, nor had he accepted so much as a hug from him.

  “It’s especially hard now, when we’re in between seasons.” She looked away. “With winter coming, there isn’t as much to do around here, and I can’t seem to keep my mind occupied with other things.” With so much time to think, everything around her, everything she did, reminded her of Edward.

  “And I haven’t been very much help,” David admitted, stating what she hadn’t.

  Tanya bit her lip, not wanting to add to his burden. “I know this hasn’t been easy on you, either.”

  She amazed him. She truly did. Even through her grief, she was thinking of him. He wasn’t sure what to think. Or do. No wonder his father had cared so deeply for her. David had promised him that he’d look after Tanya. So far, he’d been distrustful, wallowing in his own misery, and he hadn’t done a very good job of keeping his word. But if nothing else, he would keep that promise. “Losing someone you care about is never easy. You spent a lot of time with my father.”

  Tears glistened in her eyes, but Tanya forced them back. “I loved working with him. I know it was hard for you when you came home and found me here, but your father gave me a second chance. I never forgot that, and I worked really hard trying to please him.

  “I know you didn’t always get along,” she continued, realizing the impact of her words would cause him pain. “I heard you arguing with each other when you came home the summer I arrived here. And in the beginning, your father even kept me at a distance. But I didn’t have anything or anyone else to focus my attention on, so I pushed him hard, wanting him to show me a sign, any sign, that he liked me.” She chuckled through her tears. “He resisted my attempts for a long time, but I continued to chip away at his barriers.”

  “You accomplished something that I hadn’t been able to do all of my life,” David stated, surprising himself with the admission.

  Touching his arm, she said softly, “I’m so sorry.” Tanya hadn’t been there when David’s mother had died. From comments Edward had made, she knew it had been a painful time. It hadn’t been right that he’d shut his son out, but that was the one thing that Edward refused to talk about. Trying to talk to him about how he treated David was when she most often encountered Edward’s stubbornness. “You’ll probably think this is weird, but I sometimes felt that I filled a void in your father’s life, that in some way, I became a feminine influence that had been missing.”

  “I don’t think that’s weird at all.” Actually, when David thought about it, it made a lot of sense. Maybe his father had responded to Tanya on a level that he could never have reached him on.

  “At first, because I was female, he restricted me to working in the house. But I wanted to be with him so I bugged him until he let me tag along. After a while, he began giving me more and more tasks around the plantation. Eventually, he let me work alongside him.” She looked at David, her smile a little sad. “At night, after dinner, we’d watch television together.” Her eyes brightened ever so slightly.

  His lips tipped up at the edges. “He did like his television.”

  “And he loved working crossword puzzles. There are books of puzzles all over the house. Edward worked one every night. I’d…I’d help—” She stopped speaking, her lips quivering as a fresh batch of tears overwhelmed her. Her shoulders began shaking, and she covered her face with her hands.

  “Come here, Tanya.” David said, and drew her to him. “Shh, it’s gonna be okay.”

  But she continued to cry.

  He held her tighter, and she gave in to her grief. When he stroked her hair, she burrowed closer, pressing her face against his chest as her tears ran unchecked. David held her until she finally quieted and became still in his arms.

  “I’m sorry,” Tanya whispered, her voice barely audible as she garnered the courage to look at him. She couldn’t believe she’d let herself break down like that. And in David’s arms. She blinked the last of her tears away.

  It felt so good to be held by him, to feel his heat and strength surround her. The solid beat of his heart. Night had fallen, cloaking them in shadows from the moonlight outside her window. She was where she’d wanted to be since she was seventeen.

  In his arms.

  The intimacy of being in her room, on her bed, made her heart stir with a deep-seated awareness that, until now, she’d kept buried inside. Caught by the need aching inside her, she could no longer control her emotions.
She lifted her head, and their mouths were so close, so very close. His warm breath mingled with her own. Her gaze met his. Mesmerized, Tanya stilled, unable to move.

  “Tanya,” he whispered.

  There was a question in his soft tone, but she also heard his desire, saw it in his eyes. His gaze searched hers. Tanya couldn’t speak. She simply waited until his mouth touched hers…then she sank into his kiss.

  Hot flames shot through her as his tongue slipped into her mouth to stroke and taste and devour. Her breasts tightened as passion overwhelmed her sense of reasoning. She moved closer, wanting more, needing more. Their bodies touched, and Tanya forgot what had brought him to her, why she’d been hurting. His hands slid up her back to her neck, holding her head still as his tongue delved deeper into her mouth.

  The sheer pleasure of his kiss consumed every fiber of her being. She wrapped her arms around him, pressing closer, needing him so much that nothing else in the world mattered.

  David responded with a groan. He lowered her to the mattress, his mouth pressing hot kisses to her face, her mouth, her throat. When his hand slid up her ribs, she trembled. His fingers found her nipple through her bra, and she nearly came apart.

  Arching her back, she gave him access to the clasp, and suddenly it was no longer a barrier. He slid her shirt up, baring her to him. His mouth took her breast, and she went up in flames, the pleasure so intense that she cried out.

  Tanya froze, the sound of her own voice reverberating through the room. David was on top of her, his mouth on her breast, his tongue doing wonderful things to her nipple.

  She needed to deal with her grief, yes, but not by making love with Edward’s son—a man who hadn’t shown her an iota of respect since he’d come home. This was wrong. So wrong. How could she do this? How could she be taking pleasure in David’s arms when she should have been grieving for Edward?

  David raised his head and looked at her. Her face flushed with heat.

  “David, let me up,” she pleaded, her tone desperate. Oh, God, she’d made a fool of herself. Barely able to breathe, she placed her hands against his chest and tried to push him away.